How Do I Know If My Husband Is Still Attracted To Me

Ah, the honeymoon phase! It is a glorious time where you and your husband focus all of your attention on each other. Moreover, the attraction is undeniable! Unfortunately though, over time, the mystery and excitement starts to fade as we become more comfortable with our person. 

We are all guilty of growing complacent in our relationship at one moment or another, but sometimes that can take us down a bad path. This can lead you to start questioning if your husband is still attracted to you. So how do you know? Moreover, what do you do if his interest has started to vanish? 

Signs of attraction can include physical touch, mental stimulation, flirtation, and of course, aesthetic intrigue. While sometimes subtle, these signals are usually there and by not paying attention to them, your husband could start questioning the same thing about you. We take a look at the top indicators of your spouse’s continual desire for you. Finding out if your husband is still attracted to you is more an art than a science– Look if he is interested in you by reviewing the tips below. 

What Is Attraction?

First and foremost, in order to determine your husband’s enthusiasm towards you, it is necessary to consider the true meaning of attraction. This feeling is actually a culmination of factors that equate to love, desire, attentiveness and consideration. 

Thus, for someone to truly be attracted to you long term, they must not only find you physically attractive. Emotional and intellectual connections are also key in preserving the magnetism and yearning for another person.

Therefore, ask yourself some questions. Do we still have similar hobbies and interests? Do we engage each other in conversation? Are we vulnerable around each other? Have I changed physically in a way that might deter his interests?

While it is never easy, an honest examination of where your relationship has transitioned to is imperative in deciphering if the attraction still exists and if there is a chance to rekindle it.

Signs Of Attraction

Signs Of Attraction

1.He Only Has Eyes For You

After a few years of marriage, you will likely notice that when you undress for bed or just walk across the room, your husband’s glances are not quite as frequent. That is a normal part of life. What matters is that his gaze does not wander elsewhere. 

A good way to gauge this is a small test. Therefore, think back on the outfits that seemed to get your husband’s motor running in the past. This could be a form fitting dress, some sexy lingerie or even just a pair of daisy dukes. 

Then on a day where he is not preoccupied with work, his hobbies or the kids, take this new ensemble for a spin. Make sure to not flaunt it in his face. Just go about your regular routine. If you catch some glances, or even a complement, the flame is still there!

2.He Still Touches You

This is not in reference to sex, but rather small, flirtatious connections. A peck on the cheek, a slap on the butt, a tickle on your side or a whisper in your ear. These sly moments of physical contact represent a big sign of attraction. 

Studies show that flirting between married couples is a way to maintain and even increase intimacy. Whether done through conversation or physical touch, the act of teasing your partner equates to a genuine interest. 

3. He Is Vulnerable Around You

Stereotypically, men are like an onion. They have a lot of layers and they tend to keep up the facade that they are capable, strong and fearless at all times. However, when a man exposes those inner layers and is vulnerable around you, he is showing you his investment in your relationship. 

Trust means exposure and a lack of protection. When someone feels safe enough to divulge their deepest thoughts, desires, anxieties and problems without the worry of judgement, it shows an emotional attraction. 

4.He Does Little Things To Make Your Life Easier

We all have our daily chores. Whether self-assigned or agreed upon, you might be in charge of the dishes and dog walking, while he might take care of the yard and the trash. On the days where you are extra busy, a man who still loves and admires you will take the time to step up. These little gestures might not seem like much, but they can be a large measure of his love. 

5. Your Word Means Everything

Your opinion matters and when your significant other regularly takes it into consideration, it is another signal that they find you appealing. This can be as little as a compliment or as big as advice about their career. What is important is that they value your word. It shows respect and appreciation for your mind. 

6.He Catches You Off Guard

Surprises are always so much fun! Just because you have been married for a long time does not mean that your courtship should end. A man who continues to give you little gifts and take you on fun excursions is doing his part to keep the spark alive! Take the hint and remember to reciprocate!

7.He Fights With You

Passion is not always pretty! It is unrealistic to assume that you and your spouse will agree on everything. If your husband always pushes problems down and won’t fight for his convictions, he likely doesn’t really care about the relationship. 

However, studies show that the couples who show their real feelings and engage in heated arguments are actually more likely to stay together. This is because, in the end, they know their love is genuine and a difference in opinion won’t break them. Open and honest relationships make for better long term connections and less likelihood for deceit.

Conversely, those who keep quiet about their issues tend to struggle at resolving conflict. This can create resentment and an overall lack of connection. You should never feel that you need to hide something from your significant other. Additionally, let’s face it, make up sex can be quite firey and fun! Talk about fanning the flames!         

8.He Exhibits Positive Body Language

Non-verbal communication is everything! In fact, up to 93% of communication is conducted without the use of words. Eye contact, posture, gestures, physical closeness and expressions are some of the many ways that we let others know how we feel and what we think. 

Does your husband lean in when he speaks to you? Are his hips angled in your direction? Is his proximity close? Do his mannerisms mirror yours? How about his gaze — is it focused on you? If you answered yes to these questions, these are all signs of attraction! 

9.He Makes Plans

The man who whisks you away on a weekend vacation or to a fancy candlelight dinner clearly finds you desirable, and wants to continue to woo you. However, don’t discount the invitation to help him pick out pants or pick up the groceries. While not nearly as glamorous, he wishes for your company and opinion. 

Men can sometimes be a little dense when it comes to engaging with their lover. Take advantage of these opportunities! Compliment how his backside looks in the new jeans. Buy ingredients for a fun, hands-on dinner for the weekend. Then make a pitstop on the way home for a drink at a quiet spot! These little moments can lead to pleasurable points down the line! 

10. He Cares About How He Looks Around You

Let’s be honest — who wants to get dressed up after a long week? Your husband already made an effort for five days, which makes sweats or basketball shorts that much more appealing. When your hubby knows that you are available and actually takes the time to get himself spruced up, he is likely hoping that something will happen between the two of you! Plus, how can you resist a well-dressed and well-groomed man?

11.He Wants Sexy Time

“You wanna do it?” is never an appealing way to engage in intimate behavior. However, the request, as crass as it may be, does show your husband’s interest in you. If he is continuously coming back for more, then there should be no concern that his interests lie elsewhere. 

Nevertheless, if the manner in which he requests these intimate moments isn’t doing it for you, work on subtly reprogramming the way he asks. The next time you are in the mood, create an ambiance that sets a tone. Then rinse and repeat. Repetition is key in changing anyone’s behavior. 

12.He Calls When You Are Not Around

If a few hours have passed and your loved one takes the time to call or text for no real reason, they are likely missing your presence. This implies their need to hear your voice and feel your touch. 

This is a good time to reciprocate. Message him out of the blue to ask about his day or tell him you love him. Or even ask him on a date!

13.He Tries To Make You Laugh and Smile

Laughter is the best medicine! If your husband genuinely enjoys your company and is consistently joking and laughing with you, the romantic connection is solid. Studies have actually shown that humor is a stepping stone for romance. Therefore, the guy who works to keep you smiling is working to draw you in! 

14.He Talks About Your Future

If your husband is planning for your future, that means he wants you in his life. Men are much more sexually driven than women. If he was not attracted to you anymore, then it is likely that his plans would be taking a different route.

15.He Shows You Off

While you may not like the idea of being a trophy wife, when a man wants to show off what he has got, you should take it as a huge compliment! You are his amazing wife and he wants people to see! Therefore, know that if you hubby takes the time to introduce you to others, talks about you to coworkers or brings you along to hang out with the guys, he is into you!

Ways to Rekindle Your Husband’s Attraction 

Sadly for some, the signs of attraction will start to fade for one reason or another. Thankfully, there are ways to revamp the romance and get your love life back on track! The steps for reigniting the spark directly correlate with the fifteen signs of attraction. 

Communicate Your Attraction

Pay attention to your non-verbal cues as well as the way you speak to your lover. Tone plays a big factor in how your comments are perceived. Moreover, positive, and even complimentary language can increase your husband’s self-esteem and mood. Also, engage in open and honest conversation. Be vulnerable.

Additionally, engage in flirtatious talk and touch. This will alert your partner to your continued interest. Pay attention to your appearance and make an effort for the other person!

Show Attraction Through Spontaneity

Sometimes the best way to rekindle the flames is to find a different trigger to jumpstart the blaze. Be playful, adventurous and lighthearted! Let tensions build and make your normal quick roll in the hay turn into long, passionate lovemaking. Change up how or where you engage in intimacy. Talk about fantasies and indulge them. Finally, remember to start slow because you want that fire to last.

Final Thoughts

Physical, emotional, intellectual and aesthetic attraction are all a part of the romantic bond between you and your husband. Keep in mind that anyone can have passion. However, it is usually fleeting without a solid base. 

In order to maintain attraction between you and your spouse, it requires constant tender loving care. Just a muscle, you must work to keep it strong. While you can never force this feeling, if it was once there and has started to fade, know that you can strengthen it back to its former glory.

Most importantly, you should never compare your relationship with others. No two couples will function in the same way. Your version of flirtation and the way you function in your marriage is unique. Don’t sabotage it by drawing conclusions based on others. Instead, work to continually build your bond.

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